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Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

Bolstered

Sometimes I have bouts of low self-esteem.  I chalk them up as low self-esteem days but sometimes they gather together to form low self esteem weeks.  They can be triggered by anything but dissatisfaction with my appearance or uncertainty about my career are typical culprits.  Oh wait, I forgot the biggest culprit of all, PMS.  I try to be conscious of what’s going on and to deal with my feelings in a positive way but it’s not always easy.  But at worst, it usually passes in a couple of days.  

This weekend brought on some of those old familiar feelings for a number of reasons and they were holding on for dear life well into the start of my work week.  What I didn’t anticipate was that I’d be called on to be the voice of reason; to buoy the self esteem of another, and in doing so, my own.  Being so wrapped up in the goings on of my own little family I don’t do any of the things I used to do like volunteering or even just working in the public interest field.  I didn’t realize how powerful it is and how much I miss it.  The attorneys I work with often try to spin the work we do as being something of public interest work but it’s not the same.  I like what I’m doing now but it’s nothing like being an educator or working in social services.  Which were both as rewarding as they were challenging.   

After being at the office all day, coming home and tending to dinner and bedtime I’m tired.  I’m totally vegging in front of the tv with my laptop watching repeats of the daily show and colbert report that I watched last night (because I’m too dang lazy to change the channel) but I’m not feeling tired AND decrepit like I was last night.  Bonus.

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