Thursday, December 18th, 2008

I’m Really Proud of Myself

I realize now that it’s something I never say.  I went back and forth for a long time about whether to even post this because it just seems so weird to put it down in writing.  It is true though.  Today I am extremely proud of myself.  The swearing in ceremony for newly admitted members to the bar today at the Maryland Court of Appeals marked the end of a long road for me.  Even though I have known for some time that I would ultimately be admitted to the bar, nothing is final until you actually take the oath.  Only today can I actually claim that I am a lawyer.  You can’t claim it after you graduate from law school after so many years, not after you write the bar, not after you find out that you passed the bar, not after your character committee interview.  Nope, not until you’re done with all your swearing and affirming.  

I thought that the ceremony would really just be a formality.  That I’d go and sit through it then go out for a nice lunch and carry on with life as usual. As it turns out though, I was a lot more affected by all the pomp and circumstance than I thought I would be.  It could be my current emotionally charged and hormonal state but I felt myself holding back the tears at least twice.  

I thought about my family.  The members that I live with and those that don’t.  The ones I talk to and the ones I don’t.  It was hard.  You might think this is weird and creepy but I was so whipped up in a frenzy of nostalgia that I wore the one blazer of my mother’s the I saved.  Ok, well it’s not like anyone could tell.  It looks like it’s part of my own wardrobe not like something you’d find in your grandmother’s attic but it made me feel good to wear it.  It sucks that she’s not here. 

Afterward we had lunch at McGarvey’s.  As always, the crab dip was excellent and the food was so-so.  Then I got a big box of business cards with my name followed by attorney at law… very nice.  I’m going to start entering myself for all kinds of free office lunches.  I took some pictures but I notice that the one in front of the sign that says court of appeals also features some rather large breasts and the one in front of the welcome new lawyers sign is cut off so there’s not a whole lot to look at.  I did go into the office afterward, what’s happening to me??  I’m just interested to see where this all takes me… us.  

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