Today I listened to most of a segment on the Diane Rehm Show with the author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter. I’ve fallen way off the Disney wagon slowly but surely. I have been broken down. Broken. Anyway, I liked listening to the show and what particularly resonated with me was the point that it’s not princess it’s not even Disney so much as the commercialization and sexualization of girls that goes along with it.
This is probably oversimplifying it but basically part of what the author doesn’t like is that somehow being a strong independent woman has come to be tied together with shopping. I think she references Sex and the City here and goes on to point out that mother-daughter bonding is often tied to shopping and how we often show love and affection by buying gifts. Whatever. I don’t know where I am on that. I sure do buy a lot of things. But I liked that the author admitted that she doesn’t have it all figured out. That she is just a fellow traveler on this journey. It gave me pause and it inspired me a little because I did think of something I could do. I came up with an idea for a project.
Wouldn’t be awesome if I could whip up the equivalent of one of those cheapy princess dresses from Target? But really easy like? AND wouldn’t it be awesome if I could customize it really easily too? Like with lacing up the front or an overskirt? I think that would be awesome. Especially if you could work out the plans together and then find materials to use around the house. Old clothes. Stuff like that. Then I could still encourage all the imaginative creative princess play without it all being stamped with Disney and maybe spark some creative juices at the same time.
I’ll never work on it but in the meantime I think I’ll read the book. Have you read it or did you hear the interview? I’d like to hear your thoughts on it.
I always have the problem with gender stereotypes in general. We see Laura and her cousins (both boys). She’s just as rough and tumble as the boys, but my family treats her differently. They are much more protective of her than they were of my nephew. They use a different tone of voice with her. Even endearments are different. Girls are always “sweetie”, “princess”, “honey” and boys are always tougher with “buddy” or “pal”. I don’t think it’s wrong. It’s difficult to break away, but I think it shapes children subconsciously.
As for the princess phenomenon, we’re not quite caught up with that. Laura knows the names of all of them, but she’s only seen Snow White. She’s surprisingly not influenced much by commercialism. She’ll ask for things on commercials or ask for us to buy her things, but she’s quite content when she hears the word no which is surprising to me somehow, but I’m taking full advantage of it.
I figure you can’t change the world or at least overnight, but I can change or influence my household so I start there. Let us know what you think about the book though! :)
What’s REALLY annoying is that my sister-in-law who is anti-princess bought Abby princess-only gifts for Christmas. We really need to start a rumor that she loves cows or running or something. The worst part is that Abby floats that line of all-girl and all-boy pretty evenly. She’s into Lego’s as much as Princesses, the only issue is that nobody outside of this house will listen to that.
I find myself calling her princess, but have made a cognitive effort to stop that.
Missed the interview – will have to try to find it.
We have one Disney princess book in the house. Skyler found it at the Book Thing a couple of years ago and brought it home. I decided not to object. Aria has been fascinated looking at the pictures from the beginning. I tried getting rid of it a while ago and had it in a bag of books to donate, but she found it and took it out. Darn! She got a Disney princess plate for x-mas, but didn’t see it so I am going to try to get rid of it before she does. Regift it to someone already into the Disney princess thing. To “RobMonroe”: I bet your sister-in-law is regifting princess things her daughter got (if she has one), if she thinks you all will like it/approve.
We’ll see if I can curb the hype in the next couple of years. I am not promising we won’t be having a princess birthday party in a couple of years. My kids don’t live in a bubble so we’ll see. Last year Skyler (boy) was really excited to purchase a pink, purple and green lunchbox with butterflies and all of the accompanying items for preschool. Since he has learned from peers that his former favorite colors, purple and pink, are for girls and made me promise not ever to send him even the insullated thermos with the butterfly on it. Apparantly, butterflies are for girls too. I guess tigers are for boys? I can do my best to minimize these gender stereotypes, but the societal influence is HUGE, and friends can be more powerful than parents sometimes.